6 Ways To Turn Bad into Good

The Opportunity Of Adversity 

If you are going through a difficult season right now, let me be the first to encourage you, no storm lasts forever. You are alive right now, and that means there is still a purpose for you to fulfill. I truly believe that any trial in life can set the stage for great triumph if we know how to navigate suffering. In the article, you will discover the opportunity within adversity and learn 6 ways to turn something bad into something good.

I know it sounds like the typical motivational cliche, “turn any bad situation into something good!” But it is very real and very possible. Some of the most brilliant and creative people, like Walt Disney or Helen Keller, turned their grief and failures into successes, not just overcoming their situations but impacting the world. 

When It Rains…

When I reflect on the worst moments of my life, I often find myself feeling elated. Seriously! It sometimes feels like a big warm blanket is over me, my eyes well up, and I have to audibly say “Thank you God!” My heart is filled with so much gratitude as I think about these hard things. Grateful tears. I can truly say, I am grateful for the calamities in my life because they have given me the mind and heart that have made me who I am today.

I was diagnosed with a disease called sickle cell anemia SC when I was born. This disease can lead to a host of complications, but it is distinguished by outbursts of extreme pain that can last any length of time. Pain triggers can be anything from dehydration to stress. I faced other difficulties in my life in addition to this disease—coming from a broken home, financial hardships, and losing loved ones including my stepdad, who was very dear to me—so there was a lot of stress that would trigger pain crises. 

These difficulties often compounded in a vicious cycle. My parents, who were separated, might  not be getting along, which would cause unconscious stress leading to a pain crisis. I would then get sick and have to be hospitalized for days, and my parents would have to see each other and make decisions together. This inevitably led to fighting in the hospital, which contributed to additional unconscious stress, and so the cycle goes on…

I now understand stress can very much be unconscious. And unconscious stress has real symptoms! But I didn’t always know this. During difficult times in my life when I was younger, I wanted to be strong and deal with whatever came my way. So during the many times I was in debilitating pain and helplessly stuck to a hospital bed at the mercy of caretakers, I would frequently feel angry with myself and my body for being so weak and fragile. The disappointment I felt towards myself (for being human, mind you) would often leave me feeling depressed. 

All the adversity stacked on top of itself made my life sometimes feel a bad game of Jenga. Facing yet another health scare would be the one block that made my life come crashing down. As the famous saying goes, “When it rains, it pours.” Can you relate in any way? Have you ever felt like you can’t take one more thing—and then three more bad things happen? If so, you’re not alone.

Bright Side 

Currently, I am in a much healthier place in my life. As I grew up and got older, I learned how to manage stress and separate myself more from the tension around me. I have gotten so much better that people rarely believe some of my life stories I share! I am healthy and healed… and I shed grateful tears when I think about how far I have come. And that is the place I want you to get to! That’s right: a place of gratitude.

The adversity we face in our life builds character and creates an edge about us that can’t be replicated. Having an edge means you have a unique advantage, maybe in your personality, skill set or perspective that makes you stronger. It sets you apart from the pack. Start thinking about the difficulties you are facing or have faced in the past.

abuse 

infertility

divorce 

miscarriage…

Realize It’s Only Potential 

Adversity can push you into your destiny. Please realize I am talking only about potential here. Adversity can bring about the best version of you, but sequentially, it can also bring about the worst. What adversity does to you depends on what you do with it.

Although it has the potential to propel you, pain also has the potential to break you! It’s important that you recognize what you are up against and how challenging it can be to turn adversity into potential, but just as important is knowing that you absolutely can overcome it. 

These 6 tips will help you get on the right track in the midst of your adversity.

1. Recognize and Acknowledge (STOP IGNORING!!!)

How can we turn something bad into something good if we won’t even acknowledge there is something bad? Only you know the losses, misfortunes, and pain points you have, but there’s often a part within each of us that will not recognize them. Acknowledging your pain is the precontemplation stage that takes place before any change occurs. No matter how much of a realist some of us claim to be, we all have a side to us that is positive and tries to protect us. And your positive side may be ignoring some things that have hurt you. 

We are talking about acknowledging anything that has hurt you, great or small. You may say that what you went through is normal and it is nothing to complain about. But acknowledging hurt is different from complaining about it. Maybe some of the tragedies I faced you can’t quite relate to, like being diagnosed with disease or losing loved ones. But a tragedy is any event that causes you great distress or suffering. What has hurt you in your life? Did you lose your dream job? Acknowledge it. Didn’t grow up with both of your parents? Recognize that it could have had negative implications on your childhood that others did not experience. Acknowledging your pain is the first step of turning it into potential. 

2. Grieve

What caused your distress may seem insignificant, but your pain is always significant. It’s important to not minimize it. After you’ve acknowledged your pain, give yourself that space to grieve. Grief isn’t dramatic. It’s anything but—it’s oh-so necessary. Dictionary.com defines grief as “mental or emotional suffering or distress caused by loss or regret.” When we have hopes, dreams, and visions for our lives and it all comes crashing down like that Jenga game, it’s okay—and actually healthy—to feel sad! In fact, you should!

Allow yourself to grieve the bad things that have happened in your life. Be honest and let go of who you thought you’d be. Grieving is essential to healing.

3. Take Stock of Where You Are

In retail, taking stock or inventory is the process of counting  merchandise to ensure what you have matches your records. Though tedious, it helps to make sure your input and output align. Having proper inventory allows businesses to run smoothly so that the business can meet the demand. Taking stock of where you are now is a similar process.

Taking stock in life can also be a tedious process; it means reevaluating where you are after or in the midst of difficulty.  

For example, after a bout of health issues, taking stock looked like realizing I had fallen behind in school/college and missed too many days at work. I also realized I may not be able to recover some things I lost during the time I was unwell, like missing out on special events. I even failed a college course because I could make up for all the time I missed from illness. Some storms disrupt life so much that you are not able to return to life as normal, and that is okay because those storms will set you up for what is truly meant for you. This is why it is crucial to take inventory.

After losing a loved one, taking stock may involve examining bills, or picking up more responsibility to supplement what has been lost. Maybe what you lost are future plans and dreams that included someone who is no longer here. Maybe your inventory will reveal there’s a change that needs to take place in your life in order to fill in the absence of the person you lost. 

After losing a dream job, taking inventory may look like counting the losses not just of the job but of the identity you placed in that job. Without taking inventory here, you might move on thinking you don’t have that job BUT fail to realize you lost so much more. You lost that dream, you lost that daily lifestyle, and you lost the purpose you found through that job. Recognizing this is absolutely essential.

If you don’t know where to begin when it comes to taking stock of your life, here are a few questions to get started: 

• What practical things have you missed (work/school?)?
• What can normal look like right now? Do you have to redefine it? 
• What things have you lost?
• What things have you gained?
• How have you changed as a person?

You see, taking inventory is so important because when adversity strikes, we lose more than we realize and we have to count our losses properly before we can pivot to success. What if Nike had shoes on display but nothing in the back inventory? Be honest about your losses so you know what needs you truly have.

4. Adjust To Where You Are

Okay, now that you have cut your losses and you have registered where you’re at, adjust! As of right now, there is no official means of time travel. I know this is tough love but, you cannot go back in time and change anything. All you’ve got is the present—but the present counts for a lot! Think about all of your losses as an alignment to a better future than you could have imagined

During the global pandemic, the phrase “new normal” became popularly accepted. Many changes and effects of the pandemic changed our lives forever. Look at your life during adversity as your “new normal.” This means you must cope and adapt to how adversity may have changed your life. 

Throughout a season of adjusting, we are required to be highly flexible so that we can embrace the alterations life presents. There may be physical action steps that result from adjusting or adjusting may be more of a mental status for you.

Stop blaming circumstances, people, and God for your bad situation, which will only prolong a painful process. Instead, remember that your losses don’t have to define your future and adjust.

5. Lean Into The Pain: Imagine How Your Pain Can Change You

This may be the most important step. Tying in with step 1, most people want to ignore what has hurt them or gloss over it as “normal” in an effort to not have to deal with the pain of what happened. But leaning into the pain helps you get honest with yourself and discover something new and a chance to grow.  

If I ignored the pain of my parents’ separation and fighting by saying a lot of parents are not together, I would have missed the opportunity to learn, make better decisions for myself, and help others hurt by their own broken families.  When you move past your pain too quickly, you miss the chance to turn something bad into something good. But when you lean into the pain, you give yourself the opportunity to take what has hurt you and use it as a stepping stone to a positive path.

This chart shows some of the challenges I’ve gone through and some of the growth and understanding I experienced from leaning into the pain. One pain point can turn into countless valuable lessons. This, my friend, births wisdom. You must lean into it.

6. Don’t Count Yourself Out

Going through these steps will help you move through difficult circumstances. And, in the process, you will discover  your own behaviors in times of distress, growing in knowledge of yourself. Maybe you do not like who you become when push comes to shove. Maybe you displayed more grace than you could have imagined. Either way, be leery of insecurity stalking in the shadows. Insecurity and self-doubt tend to creep in during or after times of adversity because these times are moments we are most vulnerable. 

What we face in life equips us for our next battle AND qualifies us to help others. But we are often hesitant to help others because we have allowed insecurity in. For example, a woman who has suffered miscarriages or struggled with infertility may feel she is unqualified to give input on children or give parental advice. However, I know many women who are more motherly than some women who are mothers in title only. 

After a failed relationship people often feel any opinions or relational input they have is insignificant and meaningless. When really, they may be able to provide more wisdom to someone dating than someone who had smooth sailing during their dating experience. Someone who had a relationship that didn’t work out may have more insight into relational obstructions like red flags and insight from things they would do differently. 

A lot of times, we don’t feel qualified to act in boldness because of what we’ve been through, but it’s what we’ve been through that qualifies us to speak. Famous writer Robin Sharma once said your pain could become your prison or your platform. Harriot Tubman is not known as an enslaved woman but as a brave abolitionist and social activist. After escaping slavery, she made many missions to rescue others who were still enslaved. You were meant to overcome your adversity AND help others along the way. Do not allow your difficult season to define you. Instead, let yourself be defined by the tenacity and strength it takes to outlast this tough season. You are an overcomer.

Takeaways 

Come back and revisit these steps when you need inspiration along the journey. When the storm calms down, it is easy to move on to a place where you are comfortable or that seems familiar. But the goal is not to be comfortable;it is to be purposeful. Everything we’ve been through can be used for something greater.  You can use your pain to fuel your purpose and watch the bad turn into good!

Need some guidance with this? Schedule a free 20-minute session with me, and we’ll work together to develop a personalized action plan. Don’t let pain and uncertainty hold you back; take the first step toward positive change now. 

Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward for it.

Dr. eric thomas